


Usage Of Any Chat Clients Is Hereby Banned

by petalprose



Series: in space, no one can hear you scream, [1]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Chatting & Messaging, Gen, Pesterlog(s) (Homestuck), yes. another chatfic.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-23
Updated: 2019-04-13
Packaged: 2019-10-15 00:59:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17519168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/petalprose/pseuds/petalprose
Summary: 'EB: since NONE of you know how to behave!TG: thats richGG: john please you wouldnt survive a day without us!EB: i didn't say you couldn't talk at all you animals!!'general shenanigans onboard the prospitian ship, pre-retcon.





	1. Chapter 1

memo  fruity rumpus memorial

 

GG: john!!!!  
GG: john john john john john john john!!!!!  
GG: JOHN!!!!!  
NS: Hoo hoo!  
NS: I do believe he is asleep, Jade!  
GG: well ok that explains why he isnt answering  
GG: but this is really important!!  
GG: nannasprite do you know where he is  
NS: He's up in his room, dear.  
GG: ok thank you!  
  
EB: nanna sprite how could you.  
NS: I could not possibly have guessed what she would have shown you, John! Hoo hoo!  
NS: You can leave your room now, dear.  
EB: no!!!  
EB: i need to be as far away from... that THING... as physically possible!  
GG: john get out of there  
GG: or im sending dave in!  
TG: thats right johnathaniel  
TG: im going to be the worst trojan horse youve ever laid your eyes on  
EB: johnathaniel??  
EB: and i don't think you know what the trojan horse is, dave sprite  
GG: just say dave, john  
TG: does it really matter if i got the point across though  
TG: oh hey jade all up and snatching the title of knight from me  
TG: i can feel it slipping from my grasp as she fully becomes the physical embodiment of the knight in shining armour stereotype  
TG: except its infinitely more natural and genuine  
GG: aww haha  
GG: thank you dave!  
GG: i would totally be a better knight than you, youre right :p  
TG: exactly what im talking about babe  
EB: i am still here you know!!!!!!!  
TG: couldnt tell  
GG: you arent physically here with us so suffer the consequences!!  
GG: johnnnn just come out i promise i wont show it to you again  
EB: ...  
GG: pleaseeee  
EB: fine!  
EB: you forced my hand with those extra e's.  
EB: i am giving you the benefit of the doubt, just this once.  
GG: :D !!!  
GG: thank you john you wont regret this  
  
TG: thank you john you will regret this  
  
  
  
EB: i am never coming out of my room again.


	2. happy birthday john (and bec) (and everyone else, technically)

memo  fruity rumpus memorial

  
EB: ok, so now that my birth day greetings are out of the way.  
EB: don't you think we should greet jade too?  
GG: what  
TG: what  
TG: john is this it have you finally snapped  
EB: no!  
EB: jade's dog is a part of her now, right.  
EB: and his birth day is the same as mine, right?  
GG: oh yeah!  
GG: so i guess its partially my birthday too  
GG: since bec is... part of me and all  
TG: yeah that sounds fucked  
GG: :(  
EB: happy birth day to your... furry half, jade.  
GG: john i know that was supposed to be a mean spirited joke but i am going to ignore that to say thank you  
GG: because i am the most mature one out of all of us  
TG: well technically im the oldest  
TG: paradox birth notwithstanding since time shenanigans and all  
EB: that doesn't mean you're mature.  
TG: says the youngest  
EB: every day of our lives is proof that it doesn't mean you're mature.  
EB: and speaking of time shenanigans, since i gave birth to all of us on the same day it's all of our birth days today isn't it?  
GG: john dont ever say it like that again  
TG: john call it giving birth again and im going to turn back time and stop myself from saving you  
EB: ok geez!  
EB: that's what i get for trying to be creative with terms i GUESS.  
GG: if you said literally anything other than birth we wouldnt have said a thing  
EB: spawned.  
GG: still awful but its marginally better<  
TG: this is sburb not minecraft  
EB: any way it's all of our birth days isn't it?  
GG: well we have more than enough cake for it so sure lets say that  
TG: about that  
GG: dave what did you do?  
TG: youre so quick to turn on me i thought i had your support jade  
TG: im innocent  
EB: jade holy shit!   
EB: he ate half of them!  
TG: john you fucking traitor keep one eye open when you sleep tonight  
EB: you deserve what you're going to get.

**Author's Note:**

> what did they show him? who knows. but i did have this under the initial title of 'deepfried nic cage cake', so.


End file.
